A Prayer

I first heard of the above titled poem spoken by Ravi Zacharias during a new year church service at Gateway Church. The message was called Raised to Run. If you want to listen to the whole video, you can watch it on YouTube through the link below:

SOURCE: gatewaychurchtv YouTube Channel
A lot of us, at some point in our lives may have gotten to a place where we think there's no way out of the muck we find ourselves. We blame ourselves for whatever failure that came our way. We think we are so horrible and deplorable that no one would even look at us. I don't know about you, but when I heard this poem, I can't help but think of that time when I was in that place; when I believed in that lie. While the whole poem didn't speak entirely of my own feelings, there were parts there that certainly resonates with me. In other parts, I can't help but think that there is someone out there in the world who is feeling the same way as the character in the poem and who thinks that there's no hope, especially for the sinful. The good news, we all are sinners and there's NO SIN BIG ENOUGH that A BIGGER GOD CANNOT OVERCOME. Didn't the Father say in John 3:16 that

"God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Well, we are the world, and HE came for us, sinners and all. Just look at the Father's response at the end of the poem. My prayer is that we crush the lie that there is NO hope for us sinners, but instead believe in the characters of our Father in Heaven. He is good and is full of grace.

I googled the poem that Ravi Zacharias read in the video and below are its powerful words.

A Prayer
Michael Quoist, a French cleric

I have fallen, Lord,
Once more.
I can't go on, I'll never succeed.
I am ashamed, I don't dare look at you.
And yet I struggled, Lord, for I knew you were right near me, bending over me, watching.
But temptation blew like a hurricane,
And instead of looking at you I turned my head away,
I stepped aside
While you stood, silent and sorrowful,
Like the spurned fiancé who sees his loved one carried away by the enemy.
When the wind died down as suddenly as it had arisen,
When the lightning ceased after proudly streaking the darkness,
All of a sudden I found myself alone, ashamed, disgusted, with my sin in my hands.
This sin that I selected the way a customer makes his purchase,
This sin that I have paid for and cannot return, for the shopkeeper is no longer there,
This tasteless sin,
This odorless in,
This sin that sickens me,
That I have wanted but no more,
That I have imagined, sought, played with, fondled, for a long time;
That I Have finally embraced while turning coldly away from you,
My arms outstretched, my eyes and heart irresistibly drawn;
This sin that I have grasped and consumed with gluttony,
It's mine now, but it possesses me as the spiderweb holds captive the fly.
It is mine,
It sticks to me,
It flows in my veins,
It fills my heart.
It has slipped in everywhere, as darkness slips into the forest at dusk
And fills all the patches of light.
I can't get rid of it.
I run from it the way one tries to lose a stray dog, but it catches up with me and bounds joyfully against my legs.
Everyone must notice it.
I'm so ashamed that I feel like crawling to avoid being seen,
I'm ashamed of being seen by my friends,
I'm ashamed of being seen by you, Lord,
For you loved me, and I forgot you.
I forgot you because I was thinking of myself
And one can't think of several persons at once.
One must choose, and I chose.
And your voice,
And your look
And your love hurt me.
They weigh me down
They weigh me down more than my sin.
Lord, don't look at me like that,
For I am naked,
I am down,
Shattered,
With no strength left.
I dare make no more promises,
I can only lie bowed before you.

[The Father's Response]

Come, son, look up.
Isn't it mainly your vanity that is wounded?
If you loved me, you would grieve, but you would trust.
Do you think that there's a limit to God's love?
Do you think that for a moment I stopped loving you?
But you still rely on yourself, son. You must rely on me.
Ask my pardon
And get up quickly.
You see, it's not falling that is the worst,
But staying on the ground.

This poem, I learned, can be found in Ravi Zacharias's book Has Christianity Failed You?too. May you all be encouraged by the Father's response. When you are in a place where you don't want to be, perhaps it's time we change tactic and fully surrender and rely on God, instead. Why not try things HIS way? Why not instead of running away from him, we come to him for help. Who knows you'll find the one thing that's been elusive to you all through your years.

Praise be to God!

is this my ministry?

Your misery is your ministry.

Last Saturday, during Dgroup meeting - I voiced out the concern that since I became born-again, I still have not found a ministry. Finding my ministry and becoming comfortable with fellowships are two of many things I struggle with. Between the two, it's not having ministry that keeps recurring in my mind of late. As Christians, we ought to bring GLORY to GOD through our ministry. Choosing a ministry should NOT be difficult, should it? My Dgroup leader keeps inviting me to join CCF's kid's ministry called NXTGen. Every time she invites me, I refuse. Every time I do, I feel guilty. I keep asking myself why can't I commit a portion of my time doing ministry. It's not as if I'm very busy.

Then on Sunday's service at WAC, Pastor John blurted out and made us write the following words on our bibles. "Your misery is your ministry." When I heard this, the first thing that came to mind was, "WOW! God is indeed real and is present - not just present, but involved in my life." I was amazed at how uncanny the timing was. Probably it was 100% coincidence that I heard what I heard from the pastor. OR, and I'm much convinced of it - GOD's timing is indeed perfect. He used the pastor to help me figure out what my ministry should be. Examining my life, there are two "miseries" that come to mind: 1) my uterine condition called 'adenomyosis' and 2) my seemingly perpetual singleness. Now that I've think of it, the former one had led me to seek GOD and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thought, I should probably consider 'writing or blogging' as my ministry. Make this little blog a repository of all things that I've personally encountered and experienced in my walk of faith. Who knows, there might be someone who will find his/her way to this little corner in the worldwide web and be encouraged by GOD's love to all HIS children.

May GOD give me the wisdom to bring forth only the TRUTH that gives light. More importantly, may GOD give me the strength to persist. I started this blog a few years back, but have never really devoted much time for it. I made the mistake of listening to the enemy that I don't have the capacity to write. I allowed self-doubt to get the better of me. I believed in the lie that I should NOT do this because I will not give justice to how awesome really GOD is. Today I realized that I should not be so hang up in coming up with witty lines, funny quotes, or whatever to describe GOD. GOD is already perfect and no amount of descriptive words from me could come close to how magnificent HE is. My focus should be in sharing the Good News - the Gospel. It is up to GOD how HE will use this little ability to write to bring GLORY to HIS name!

GOD's hands upon a place

sometime last year, i wrote about attending worship services at the J Center mall. in that post i mentioned that only a few people attend the service there. today's 5 o'clock service at WAC was an entirely different story. as june 8 is my mother's birthday, i opted to attend the 2 o'clock service in the hopes of going home early to have dinner with the family. during the service, however, pastor americano's dad (proxying for his son who's in barili for a mission trip) mentioned that his son and some other american volunteers and wac members are actually coming for the 5 o'clock service straight from the mission trip up north.

after the service, i headed to mc do for my late lunch and debated between going home early or attending the 5 o'clock service. for some reason, i can't get it out of my head to go. i don't know whether i was led by the Spirit or if it was me wanting to see more proof of GOD's hands in whatever. it may be presumptuous but i'd like to think that it was the leading of the Spirit that made me decide to go for another round of Sunday worship service. i was GLAD that i did GO. i was happy that i chose to attend the service over going home early. i was happy because by staying for the 5 o'clock service, i actually witnessed first hand what it's like to be in a place where GOD's hands are upon it and the people who were there.

i truly believe that during that service, GOD has truly blessed the event and was actually there to bless the place himself. in the 2 o'clock service, pastor americano's dad mentioned that right after the service, he will go up to the mall's management and demand for another 100 seats to accommodate more people for the next service. it's been almost a year since i've been coming to wac and i can vouched that during the early months last year, only few people come to worship there. in fact, during those early months, i sometimes feel uncomfortable attending services there, especially during that time where the service was held at the ground floor, fronting GUESS and Dunkin Donuts. many people seeing that it's not a catholic mass, would just pass by the place and proceed to going about doing their businesses. one could actually see the glaringly empty seats. when i heard pastor americano's dad, i thought to myself that this old guy truly BELIEVE in HIS GOD to make such a bold demand for more seats. YES, truly it was a BOLD DEMAND because in my previous experiences, the service could barely attract more than 50 people at a time. so to claim that GOD will move people to attend the 5 o'clock service and actually fill the place to reach more than a hundred is again rather BOLD. a part of me, wanted to see how GOD will work on this man's belief.

what happened at the 5 o'clock service was truly a TESTAMENT on WHAT an AMAZING GOD CAN DO!!! while sitting at my chair, i can't helped but feel a bit of regret for not taking on the offer to get a higher phone subscription to enjoy a free smartphone. i had wished i took the offer just so i could take a picture of the place and record it on video! i was counting chairs, and my estimate was there were more than a hundred people there!!! GOD indeed works in mysterious ways and there's no limit to what HE CAN DO!!!

with that said, i leave you with one of the beautiful prayers of paul for the ephesians. my very lay understanding of the verses has me convinced of the power of GOD and thus wish nothing but for other people to hear these beautiful truths:

A Prayer for the Ephesians
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

word at the center

The past few Sundays, I've been attending church services at the J Centre Mall.

Thus far, I like what I hear every time I'm there and fill one of the many empty seats there. The guy in blue, whose back is seen in the picture (yeah, I don't have the latest smartphone and still a proud owner of a dumbphone. but trust me - it's blue) is the pastor who delivers the message every Sunday. While I continue to struggle waking up early and making it to the Sunday services over at the Marriott Hotel through CCF, I also do not regret missing the church there as I like hearing the pastor's message every Sunday at the J. Center. Apart from my laziness to wake up early so as not to miss CCF's 11 AM service, one of the reason's I'm drawn to the church at J Center is the passion of the pastor when delivering God's message. Imagine being on stage and talking to an almost empty (maybe less than 30 people) venue. For most of us, speaking in public with only a few audience might probably discourage us. We might not even have the energy to wake up and go to the mall and do 3 services with only a few people in attendance Sunday in and Sunday out. Yet, the pastor and the volunteers there untiringly and religiously set up the stage for the Sunday service and let the Word of God be known to people. I call this dedication a true devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm drawn to this kind of dedication because it's something that I do not have. I know now that I do not want to go back to being a non-practicing Catholic. By that I mean, someone who is born to the Catholic faith, but who never truly understood what it means to be truly Catholic. Sure, I'm not fully a born again either. I haven't gotten myself baptized yet. Well, be that as it may - I like hearing about and slowly learning about who Jesus is. I continue to struggle having a relationship with the big jokester. So, attending Sunday services is a big help to my fearful commitment-phobe self. Yeah, I call myself commitment-phobe in this regard, because a voice and my mind knows that I should commit by now to the Lord Jesus, and yet I remain 'unfocused' - and to put it bluntly, a coward - for not making the move. Lastly, one of the big reasons I continue to attend services at the J Center is because there was this particular Sunday that I actually didn't want to leave Mactan and go to church. Thankfully, the inner self-talk to get up and go to church prevailed. In that Sunday's service, the pastor repeatedly said something about being lost and encouraged the people there to 'stay on track'. I believe he said something about "staying the course and fixing one's eyes to Jesus. It truly felt that the message was meant for my ears only for at that time, a big part of me keeps insisting that all these Jesus talks are nothing but crap. That Sunday, was this year's Easter Sunday and that time couldn't have been more appropriate for me to hear Jesus' message of love - truly powerful.
So, if you ever might find yourself at a lost and want to hear and know more about our Living God, you might want to drop in at the 3rd Level of J. Center Mall on Sundays. Word at the Center holds an interfaith service every Sunday at 10 A.M., 2 P.M., and 5 P.M. They're near the office of the bpo Stream and the computer store, Octagon.

UPDATE as of July 17, 2016: WAC has moved to a new location at the 3rd Floor of J. Centre Mall. I haven't been to the new location just yet. But on the very last Sunday that I went there, it was announced that they'll be moving one floor up from the current location. If I'm not mistaken, it's that space above Octagon. I think somewhere near the new SSS Mandaue office (formerly Trick Art Museum)/ERSAO Restaurant. I'll take some pictures when I can attend service there again.

superbook reimagined

YES! Superbook is back! Haha, do you even know what Superbook is? Well, let's just say that most of the things I know about the bible I learned through watching Superbook and Flying House. These two animated stories were produced by CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network). If i'm not mistaken, Superbook features the stories found in the Bible's Old Testament, while Flying House features the story of Jesus of the New Testament. As a kid growing up, I remembered watching each of the episodes of Superbook and Flying House. In fact, I was even a member of the Super Kids Club. Imagine THAT!! Like I said, all I know about the bible is because of these two animation series back in the 80s. Haha, i'm so giving away my age. But yeah, SUPERBOOK IS BACK. CBN Asia is bringing back Superbook for today's young generation. Superbook Reimagined is produced to suit today's children's love for digital animation. The well-loved stories of Superbook can now be watched in 3D animation! Too bad, I missed today's episode as I only learned about it today, drat!

my dear parent friends, i encourage you to let your kids watch this show. Superbook Reimagined and Superbook Classic. they're shown over at GMA 7 at 7:30 AM on Saturdays and Sundays.

7:30, too early? well, you can actually get a copy of the DVD episodes by partnering with superbook with your gift of PhP 500. click video to know how you can partner with Superbook and get a copy of your DVD.
or visit www.batangsuperbook.com for videos and games.