why go to church?

in the post before this i stated that i truly wanted to write for Him. it occurred to me that i haven't actually defined the extent of my commitment. should i do it daily, every other day, weekly, or monthly? i honestly don't know the answer to that. i'm no writer and words don't easily come to me. while this maybe taken as me going back on my word, it actually isn't. since i started the walk to learn about jesus, i often come by the message that nothing is an accident. everything happens for a reason, and that we are where we are needed to be.

so.the past few sundays, i've been struggling against laziness and impure thoughts. the mactan heat and sinful thoughts kept me from attending ccf services. i failed to go to church last sunday and 4 sundays ago. the three sundays in between, i went to a service by victory and and that of the interfaith service held at j center mall. in those past sundays, i kept telling myself that i'll miss a lot of things should i decide to skip church. tomorrow or technically a few hours from now, i can't help but think that i will have the same struggle again. i say that because it's 2:13 A.M. and i'm still wide awake, often the precedence of my inability to wake up in the morning. ergo, skip ccf and debate whether to brave the outside heat to go to j center mall in the afternoon.

where was i going with this? hmmm. well, i initially planned to post my ONLY picture when i was 2 years old over at my other blog. but before i could do so, a thought came to me, "humor yourself, vet and check the oldest e-mail you've received." well, the thought came out of nowhere and i just said to myself, "what the heck, why not?" so i did, and this was what i found, a forwarded e-mail dated august 13, 2003 sent by my sister: creepy and then i'm reminded of the message that nothing is an accident. perhaps this is a reminder from the Father. Well, HE knows everything. So, He probably sent me this message beforehand because HE knows that I will have the debate again of whether it's worth the time to go to church or not. now you understand why i fondly called the Father the jokester. i don't mean this as the Father playing a 'literal' joke on me. i just have the notion that HE knows you so much enough to present you little reminders. what do you think?

"Why Go To Church?"

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all." This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher: I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible > > > and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our > > > spiritual nourishment! > > >

writing for Him

i was reading an article over at boundless website when some thoughts occurred to me. from time to time the thought of writing about God comes to me. to use "there's a great longing to write about HIM" is overly pretentious, and yet it's true. i truly want to write about the lord of lords. but just as when the thought comes, an equal force of doubt seeps through my mind. how can i even write about the king of kings when i don't have a personal relationship with Him, at least - not at the level of what a personal relationship with Him entails as described by many believers? what could i write about when i haven't even read the entire bible yet? from whose authority would i have license to write about Him? a deafening 'you're a sinner, and have no right to even attempt. sure, you read the bible, but your recent actions watching movies with violent and sexual contents, harboring anger at someone for unpaid debts, to name just a few, were far from righteous and that alone disqualifies you." so said the thoughts in my head.
from the very few articles written in this blog, it sure is an evidence that i clearly have not acted on the desire to write more of Him. up until now, i still doubt my capacity to write. i'm not as gifted as the writers i admire and the thought of even dreaming that i could be a writer is just ambitious to say the least. then i am reminded about the 'enemy'. the enemy is cunning, devious, and highly clever. it will use all its energy to question your beliefs and to keep you separated from God. i'm ashamed at the thought that the quantity of the posts here signifies how i'm allowing to be led away from the TRUTH.

darn.

today, as i was reading the boundless article and the daily devotion from cbn asia i am reminded of the following TRUTH:
galatians 5:22

but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forebearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness (NIV)

clearly, 'doubt, hatred, unforgiveness etc., aren't the fruits of the spirit. thus, they should not reign in our hearts and mind. yes, "it's easier "written" than done", but if i'm not mistaken (drat, i just can't remember the verse), there is that verse that mentions about God giving us all the armor that we need. or that within each one of us, there is the ability to do what God has meant us to do - writing, serving, or whatever way we can to bring glory to His name.
oh, regarding the issue on authority - brothers and sisters, God is not expecting perfection from us. He welcomes everyone - all of us sinners alike. so yeah, in my capacity even as a sinner, i will try to Make Him Known - through this little blog.
that said, i'll leave you with this beautiful reminder in dealing with the struggles in this world from Ephesians 6:12-17

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (NIV)

happy weekend!!!

stay on course

it's probably the greatest reminder i received last sunday. over the past few months i've struggled whether the decision to walk on this path is the wisest or the dumbest. prior to this decision, it didn't matter to me whether i go or skip church. but since june of last year, going to church has been a matter that demands front row seats. i feel guilty every time i skip it, especially knowing that i don't have a valid reason not to go. most often than not, it's usually a case of staying too late at night to devour on tv series or just plain avoidance of the heat outside. i'm generally an afternoon or an evening person. i'm at my most active during those times. there's also the doubt that shouts, 'there's really nothing to gain in going to church. forget eternity. all those eternal life talks are full of crap. you'd be dead. what do you care about the after life? who cares? you're DEAD.'
yeah, it's tempting to believe in this BIG LIE. but truth of the matter is, there nothing that a BIG God named Jesus cannot overcome. yes, we may be fallen, but the king of kings welcomes us anytime. He's actually just waiting for us to come. of course, the enemy is cunning and wise - he attacks us at our weakest, that sometimes we tend to believe. well friends, whatever wrong we may have done in the past - be assured that there is such a thing as forgiveness. there is No SIN so big that our Lord Jesus cannot forgive. like i said, when we fall - it's sometimes easier to just continue falling, and just be damn with it. hear some truth; yes, you may feel convicted, but do stay on course. continue to listen and hear the Word, especially when you feel the weakest.

pause and pay attention

last sunday, i let laziness get the better of me. i rationalized that i was too tired to go to church because i rendered overtime that saturday. but truth be told i got distracted by a movie. if you follow my other blog or you're a friend, you know that i very much admire abraham lincoln. steven spielberg directed a movie called "lincoln". when i heard of it, i couldn't wait for the movie to be shown here in the country (roughly a year or more). after working OT that saturday, i hitched a ride to go to SM, and then my co-worker don chose to park at the cinema level. naturally, i passed by the theater, and saw movie posters of titles currently being shown. one of the titles was lincoln. what happened next was obvious. instead of going home to my parent's house as i initially planned, i ended up buying a movie ticket and went home past 12 midnight.

OK. why this introduction?

how do you view God?

i'm not officially a member of ccf. i haven't been baptized as a christian yet. but i've been attending their sunday services since june of last year. i have to say that discovering ccf is among the best things that happened in my 2012. while i continue to struggle with everyday life and being intimate with the jokester, i have to admit that through ccf i have met and came to know the most amazing people. i haven't met people with so much passion for the Lord before. sure, i've seen them on TV - but the experience is kinda different when you actually see them in person. oops, lest i send the wrong impression, let me point out that i have not met these people in person - at least NOT the "was-introduced-to-me-kind." what i mean here is through ccf, i got to hear the likes of pastor peter tan-chi and francis kong speak in person. on the occasions that i've heard them speak, i'm just floored. i'm envious of the kind of faith they have with the Lord Jesus Christ. more than objects of envy, these people inspire me to aspire more and attempt to build a strong relationship with the Lord.
last jan. 13's sunday service featured a video stream of pastor peter. damn, every time i hear the man speak - i'm like, if only so many people were like him - a true follower of Jesus, then the world would be a much better place. or if only i have at least half the faith he has, man - that would be more than awesome. on the other past services where he served as the main speaker, a recurring message he often leaves attendees is the statement, "how do you see God, affects your entire being". the words are not verbatim, but it was kind of like it. every time he speaks of those words, i'm left wondering if pastor peter is a student of psychology. the statement has a 'psych' vibe to it. [ok, disclaimer, the parallelism that follows isn't quite close, but it's what actually comes to my mind] hmmm, anyway, i could be wrong - but the message somehow reminds me of the few lessons i had when i was a psychology undergrad; something about the power of the mind and what it can conjure. my favorite class in college is psych 135, or perception. in that class, we discuss the brain and the body's darn beautiful and fascinating neural network. it's in perception class that i've come to admire the wondrous work of our brian. haha, i can't get enough reading materials on the brain back in the day, and some years after it (but don't ask me now as i've forgotten most of them, hehe). in my readings, i've come to the conclusion that our brain is the "most amazingest" thing ever created. the brain has abilities that border on the incomprehensible. it is able to do things that leaves one perplexed, at least in my mind. with this line of thinking, pastor peter's statement on what we think about God, and it affecting our entire being, kind of jolts me to my sad reality: drat - i don't see God the way i adore the brain - at least for now.
how else can i justify being an adenomyosis-afflicted me until now even after several prayers? yes, it's probably not the time yet for my ultimate healing, but let's not get "in HIS TIME" factor come into the picture, or at least NOT in this post. SO. i've read several accounts in the bible on how big a miracle worker God truly is, and yet - i remain doubtful, ergo 'unhealed'. in fact, there's that story about a bleeding woman who suffered for several years. (FYI one major symptom of adenomyosis is profuse bleeding that could last several days, even weeks - not your typical menstruation) when she saw Jesus, she strained to be near Him and succeeded only in touching a tip of His robe. a mere touch of His robe made Jesus turn back to ask the crowd about who touched Him. because then, He felt power flowing through Him and into someone. the woman revealed herself and so Jesus spoke shortly with her and proclaimed that by mere faith alone, she (the woman) is healed.
in that same service, pastor peter dwelt deeply on the passage that is Ephesians 3:20
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" (NKJV)
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"(TNIV)
the passage gives a very vivid picture of how great and a big "overcomer" of things our Lord is. it paints a picture of a GOD who has limitless power. with this TRUTH that nothing is impossible to someone who can do things way, way beyond what our human imagination can conjure, boy - the world would be like a place where hope, indeed, springs eternal. yes, problems may continue to distract people - but what could problems do to people full of hope? nothing, right?
realizations like this make me thankful of the events that led me to seek the Lord. while i'm not quite "there" yet, i'm grateful that these doubts and questions further lead me into knowing more about the jokester. hopefully, the jokester won't get tired of my doubts and someday soon will shower me with grace and mercy to believe in Him 100%. no questions asked, especially even if things don't make sense to my mind. (remember the pharaoh-moses story?) as it turned out, GOD hardened the pharaoh's heart in releasing the israelites, and it's the same GOD who ultimately made the pharaoh let those people go. of course, in between these two courses of events - miracles after miracles (or if you're the egyptians, plague after plague) happened that showed the power of the Lord.