transformation - a long ago post

i was internally debating whether i should include a page solely devoted to the jokester (it's what i call my GOD, our Lord, Jesus Christ) to this blog. a loud booming voice echoed that it's probably NOT the best of my ideas. it shouted that people may think of me as a hypocrite - writing about Jesus, proclaiming His name, but is not actually following His commands as they should be followed.

that voice has a point. perhaps. yet every time i think of it, several counterarguments crop up, including the following:

1. the decision to follow Jesus won't exactly translate to a 100% transformation overnight (i know what you're about to say, but just stop right there. don't react yet). however great my resolve to truly become a Christian will always be hindered by my human nature. i am sinful. as a human being, there is always the tendency to follow the world's ways instead of the jokester's. these statements maybe taken by critics and skeptics alike as disclaimers, a sign of not being 100% committed to following Jesus, but i'm hoping that they not be taken as such. rather i'd like them to be seen as efforts to be truly one with the Lord. that yes, with a GOD who showers love, forgiveness, and grace - a 100% reversal of what i am today is possible in HIS TIME and that 100% transformation can indeed happen overnight if only i could summon faith..

2. i've always been vocal about my opinion on things. i've always "prided" myself as someone who can stand up for her beliefs. yes, having this stance and desire is quite unexpected even to myself. so, when confronted with the question "what will people think of you?" more often than not, the answers i'm always given or ideas that always come to my mind are "when have other people's opinion matter to you? this is your belief now - how is this belief different from your other beliefs that you will choose to keep it to yourself and not be bold enough to stand up for it?"

3. i'm not pretending to be holier than thou. what this is (writing about Jesus) is merely a personal account of struggles and testimonies of how the Lord is slowly revealing Himself in my life, and that it's about time to acknowledge HIS presence all those years i was so preoccupied about myself and my pretend intelligence.

it is my prayer that i can have a transformed life soon and that through my own struggles in coming to the light, i'll be able to touch at least one soul to reconsider about knowing JESUS and HIS infinite love for us - that we take it without questions. that we STOP REJECTING HIS LOVE.

HIS LOVE has always been ours for the taking. so, why delay claiming it? after all, IT'S FREE. no strings attached.

P.S. (September 16, 2014) I just saw the post above in my drafts folder and am amazed at the date. I wrote this almost two years ago, and yet I remain having mixed feelings. The desire to know Jesus remains, thank God! but yet I'm far from what I hope I should become. On the other hand, in several D Group sessions, my fellows in Christ told me that they've seen some transformation in me. That I'm no longer a vehement hater of God. Maybe still not Christ-like, but at least they've seen some change. Holy Spirit, is that you? So looking forward to the complete transformation, haha..GOD-willing!

PONDER:

Romans 12:2

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.