is this my ministry?

Your misery is your ministry.

Last Saturday, during Dgroup meeting - I voiced out the concern that since I became born-again, I still have not found a ministry. Finding my ministry and becoming comfortable with fellowships are two of many things I struggle with. Between the two, it's not having ministry that keeps recurring in my mind of late. As Christians, we ought to bring GLORY to GOD through our ministry. Choosing a ministry should NOT be difficult, should it? My Dgroup leader keeps inviting me to join CCF's kid's ministry called NXTGen. Every time she invites me, I refuse. Every time I do, I feel guilty. I keep asking myself why can't I commit a portion of my time doing ministry. It's not as if I'm very busy.

Then on Sunday's service at WAC, Pastor John blurted out and made us write the following words on our bibles. "Your misery is your ministry." When I heard this, the first thing that came to mind was, "WOW! God is indeed real and is present - not just present, but involved in my life." I was amazed at how uncanny the timing was. Probably it was 100% coincidence that I heard what I heard from the pastor. OR, and I'm much convinced of it - GOD's timing is indeed perfect. He used the pastor to help me figure out what my ministry should be. Examining my life, there are two "miseries" that come to mind: 1) my uterine condition called 'adenomyosis' and 2) my seemingly perpetual singleness. Now that I've think of it, the former one had led me to seek GOD and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thought, I should probably consider 'writing or blogging' as my ministry. Make this little blog a repository of all things that I've personally encountered and experienced in my walk of faith. Who knows, there might be someone who will find his/her way to this little corner in the worldwide web and be encouraged by GOD's love to all HIS children.

May GOD give me the wisdom to bring forth only the TRUTH that gives light. More importantly, may GOD give me the strength to persist. I started this blog a few years back, but have never really devoted much time for it. I made the mistake of listening to the enemy that I don't have the capacity to write. I allowed self-doubt to get the better of me. I believed in the lie that I should NOT do this because I will not give justice to how awesome really GOD is. Today I realized that I should not be so hang up in coming up with witty lines, funny quotes, or whatever to describe GOD. GOD is already perfect and no amount of descriptive words from me could come close to how magnificent HE is. My focus should be in sharing the Good News - the Gospel. It is up to GOD how HE will use this little ability to write to bring GLORY to HIS name!