"This Jesus is one conceited bloke!!!"
Every efforts we do here on earth will be for naught if they're done outside the purpose He had for our life. So yeah, we're busy, living a life, and all that; but in essence they're described as mere "aimless distractions." The book mentioned something about us--each individual person--being born unto this earth by no accident. We are created and planned by God even before our parents made us or even if some of us came to this world came to be labeled as "conceived by accidents". It rambled on how we are wonderfully-made; every fiber of our being pre-designed by the Creator himself: our race, the very exact time we inhale our first breath as we come out of our mother's womb. Of course, at that time I was reading these words all I could think of was--"Great! I'm wonderfully-made? What kind of God creates a child who has problematic uterus. No child at the age of 12 and onward should be suffering from a uterine condition that only brings pain and erratic profuse bleeding during periods." IF that's the GOD who calls himself LOVE and is the one who created me, then I surely don't want to do anything with that kind of God. There's just so many inconsistencies!
Such were my thought processes then, some three or five years ago. While I may have never gotten to finishing the book, I certainly reached to a different conclusion about Jesus some other ways. Curiosity killed the cat, they say. But my curiosity brought LIFE. Not only did I learn that Jesus wasn't conceited, I learned that I actually didn't understand the word at all. So, I opened a dictionary and find out what the word means. According to Collin's Learner's dictionary, conceited is the word used when you are showing your disapproval of the fact that someone is too proud of their abilities or achievements. The dictionary lists the following as its synonymous words: self-important, arrogant, bigheaded (informal), cocky, egotistical, full of oneself, immodest, narcissistic, too big for one's boots or breeches, or simply VAIN.
Reading the Bible, made me see how different my perception of God was to how He actually was and IS. A conceited, self-important being will definitely not pursue you. He is relentless. You may give up on him, but each day that you wake up and discover that you are still breathing is a strong testament of how he hasn't given up on us, on you. Somewhere and sometime in your future, God will catch up on you. The amazing thing is He will send in a cavalry of people or circumstances that sooner or later, you'll either acknowledge he is God indeed, and allow him to have a say in your life, or you run away from him permanently.
His hope is for us to do the former and allow us to experience true, unconditional love and that can only come from the source himself.
Pure, unadulterated love.
This kind of experience will never be found until we truly realize and understand the very meaning of the cross, of why Jesus died for us. Do you think a self-important being will go through the process of being subjected to humiliation, flogging, to death on the cross just so the sins of the world will be forgiven by the holy God? Will an egotistical being would even lower himself, agree to step down from his throne in heaven just to be born as a babe, to grow and live in a depraved world? The person of Jesus Christ did all just that so that we will be redeemed and be saved from the eternal judgment of death. He certainly didn't have to, but he--did.
If you have difficulty in believing in Jesus Christ because of what you see other Christians do (judgmental, holier than though etc.), my best advice is to not stop in discovering who Jesus really is because of us who messed up. Know the character of Jesus as revealed in the Bible. Only he can represent him best, and those who are truly filled by the Holy Spirit! Don't give up on asking Jesus to reveal himself to you.
I'm writing this as a reminder that I myself needs more growing and more reading. Of late, I've been remiss in my Bible reading and it's when I notice that doubts and fears begin to crop up again. So, I guess the warning is true about not getting yourself idle as it can be the devil's playground.
NOTE TO SELF: Anchor back and FOCUS on JESUS!!! :)
