a prayer

are you one of those who stash pieces of paper in your coin purse or wallet? well, i'm one of those. normally, i'd keep receipts for a time and then throw them away when the urge to clean house kicks in. i was doing that tonight and i found this june 14, 2012 Dunkin Donuts receipt.

below is a full text of what's written in that receipt.

dear Lord, i don't know where my life is headed. i'm scared about the future. it shames me that i'm only seeking you now because i have a tremendous need and a deep longing for something. i'm ashamed to admit that i'm only wanting to have an intimate relationship with you Lord because my mind is hang up on the idea that i will tread this Earth until i die alone. it scares me to grow old. while all these may be true, Lord, i'm hoping that this longing to know more about you Lord will be sustained throughout my life until i can fully glorify your name to people in and out of my circle. i truly wish to form a strong relationship with you Lord to the point of positive dependency. But Lord, it's scary also to follow you. the doubts and other bad things that may come to me are preventing me from truly making the step to be your follower. for all these I pray in the name of Jesus that all my doubtful thoughts, my skepticism will be erased dear Lord. Please give me the patience and obedience to follow you, Lord. Please QUIETEN MY MIND that I may believe without needing any proof I want to experience blind faith, Lord. most importantly, Lord, please forgive me for all my SINS. keep me from committing further sins, Lord. Please sustain this great longing to know more about you, Lord. I truly hope that in knowing you Lord I will be transformed fully both in mind and action. all these I pray in Jesus name. AMEN.

i don't remember writing this letter and why am i sharing it for the world to see? firstly, because i'm confident no one reads me, LOL!! secondly, i just want to document this journey. but more importantly i want to be able to let those who find themselves here in my little corner of the web get a glimpse of how this journey all started for me. it's quite risky sharing such a personal prayer, but i guess all i want to point out is that ANYONE can actually speak to God, any time at whatever point in their lives they maybe right now. just speak as if he's your friend, or someone close to you. that it's just easy to talk to Him about your life. after all, HE is our Father, HE listens, HE hears. our prayers may not be answered when we want them answered, but HE will answer IN HIS TIME. it might seem that our prayers will take time to get answered, but just hold on to the truth that God knows what's best for us. i don't know what verse it is, but there is that verse where he tells us that HE KNOWS US even before we were born and HE knows what's in store for us. moreover, HE also has that promise to prosper us and not harm us.
that said, i wish everyone to seek and know the king of kings! let's all be blessed.