bon jovi vs. grace

in high school, i had a seatmate who couldn't get enough of bon jovi. he'd talk about bon jovi and his band. his favorite was richie sambora. i'm only familiar with some of the band's song because of him. since that classmate and i sat together for most of sophomore and junior years, bon jovi songs grew on me. so, even after we graduated high school, i still became a fan of the band. in 2000, the band released their album "crush". the first single released in that album is a song entitled "it's my life".

It's My Life Songwriters: Bon Jovi, Jon; Martin, Max; Sambora, Richard S; This ain't a song for the brokenhearted No silent prayer for the faith departed And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud It's my life It's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just wanna live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway Like Frankie said, "I did it my way" I just wanna live while I'm alive 'Cause it's my life This is for the ones who stood their ground For Tommy and Gina who never backed down Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks .... You better stand tall When they're calling you out Don't bend, don't break Baby, don't back down

i graduated from the university in april 2000, this song was released sometime in may of the same year. this song became my rally song especially after i decided not to rush to enter the labor force. well, it took me two years before i could get a job due to personal and health reasons, and probably i was also a bit unlucky and choosy. anyway, my move was quite a surprise and unexpected especially that i was a dedicated and conscientious student, and i studied at a premier university to boot. A UPian with no job was no boost to my confidence. But this song, somehow gave me a lift in spirit. it just wasn't my rally song, but it became a song that guided me through the years to present. i didn't care about what other people say about me or about the life i chose for myself. as the song goes "IT'S MY LIFE". i'll do it MY WAY.
fast forward to so many years, i got a job, had the chance to travel, and mortgaged a house. somehow, these things, although they bring great joy to me, just weren't enough. there's the feeling of emptiness that somehow couldn't be satisfied. i started seeking and looking for answers. one thing led to another, and i found myself reading the bible. one of the few scriptures that struck me are the following:

John 14:6 
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. 
No one comes to the Father except through me."
Matthew 16:24-25 
Then Jesus said to his disciples, 
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves 
and take up their cross and follow me. 
25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, 
but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

over the past few weeks, i kept hearing the message that following jesus is costly. so, yeah i often wonder if i could do it. definitely, it's hard. the song alone is a big hindrance. i'm used to doing things MY WAY. i'm not even sure if i could let go of this rally song that has helped me for so many years and just relinquish control. yes, i have my doubts - but i also am starting to believe in "grace". by GOD's grace, HE will change my heart and my ways. i am looking forward that it will happen.